Drukpa Kinley, the Divine Madman was in Samtengang, Wangdi. His consorts and patrons requested the Lama give some teachings with a profound inner meaning but in the language of the common people so that everyone can understand it.
The Lama delivered this discourse:
In Sanskrit: Ngai jey sharara!
In Tibetan: Bumoi tula shururu!
This is the discourse on mundane pleasure.
The virgin finds pleasure in her rising desire,
The young tiger finds pleasure in his consummation,
The old man finds pleasure in his fertile memory:
That is the teaching of the Three Pleasures.
The bed is the workshop of sex,
And should be wide and comfortable;
The knee is the messenger of sex
And should be sent up in advance;
The arm is the handle of sex
And it should clasp her tightly;
The vagina is a glutton for sex,
And should be sated again and again:
That is the teaching upon Necessity.
It is taboo to make love to a married woman,
It is taboo to make love to a girl under ten,
It is taboo to make love to a menstruating woman
Or a woman under a vow of celibacy:
That is the teaching of the Three Taboos.
Hunger is the mark of an empty stomach,
A large penis is the mark of an idiot,
Passionate lust is the mark of a woman:
That is the teaching of the Three Marks.
The impotent man has little imagination,
Bastards have little virtue,
The rich have little generosity:
That is the teaching of the Three Deficiencies.
A Lama’s joy is a gift,
A politician’s joy is flattery,
A woman’s joy is her lover:
That is the teaching of the Three Joys.
Sinners hate the pious and devout,
The rich hate loose spendthrifts,
Wives hate their husbands’ mistresses:
That is the teaching of the Three Hates.
For blessing worship the Lama,
For power worship the Deity,
For efficiency worship the Reality Protectors:
That is the teaching on the Three Roots.
Pay no respect to mean Lamas,
Pay no respect to immoral monks,
Pay no respect to dogs, crows or women:
That is the teaching of the Three Rejects.
The Discipline’s purpose is to calm and pacify,
The Vow to serve others is to free from self-will.
The Tantra’s purpose is to teach the unity of polarity:
That is the teaching on the Three Vehicles.
The starving beggar has no happiness,
The irreligious have no divinity,
The wanderer has no bonds or commitment:
That is the teaching of the Three Lacks.
He who is without honesty has a dry mouth,
He who is without spirituality makes no offering,
He who is without courage does not make a general:
That is the teaching of the Three Zeros.
The sign of a rich man is a tight fist,
The sign of an old man is a tight mind,
The sign of a nun is a tight vagina:
That is the teaching of the Three Constrictions.
The fast talker inserts himself into the center of a crowd,
Monastic wealth inserts itself into the monks’ stomachs,
Thick penises insert themselves into young girls:
That is the teaching of the Three Insertions.
The mind of a Bodhisattva is smooth,
The talk of self-seekers is smoother,
But the thighs of a virgin are smoother than silk:
That is the teaching of the Three Smooth Things.
Immoral monks have thin skirts,
Widows and spinsters have thin stomachs and clothes,
Fields without manure bear thin crops:
That is the teaching of the Three Thin Things.
Kinley never tires of girls,
Monks never tire of wealth,
Girls never tire of sex:
That is the teaching of the Three Indefatigables.
Although mind is clear, one needs a Lama;
Although a lamp burns brightly, it still needs oil;
Although Mind is self-evident, it needs recognition:
That is the teaching of the Three Needs.’
The Lama without a disciple,
The student without persistence,
The pundit without an audience,
The woman without a lover,
The master without a servant,
The rich man without food,
The farmer without crops,
The nomad without cattle,
The monk without discipline,
The meditator without instruction,
The nun obsessed with sex,
The man unable to reach erection,
Wealth sought with the bum,
And shy girls panting for sex –
How ridiculous they look!
What laughter they raise!’
And again Lama went on:
Although the clitoris is suitably triangular,
It is ineligible as devil-food for the local god’s worship.
Although love-juice can never dry up in the sun,
It is unsuited for tea to quench thirst.
Although a scrotum can hang very low,
It is an unsuitable bag for the hermitage’s victuals.
Although a penis has a sound shaft and a large head,
It is not a hammer to strike a nail.
Though endowed with a human body and shapely,
It is not proper to be mistress to the Lord of Death.
Although your mind may be virtuous and pure,
The Buddha’s Teaching is not accomplished by staying at home.
The teaching of the Tantric Mysteries is most profound
But liberation cannot be gained without profound experience.
Drukpa Kinley may show you the way,
But you must traverse the path by yourself.’
After Lama finished discourse, people gathered cried and laughed, and cries and laughter that place with great faith and devotion. Through his own buoyancy and benevolence, Lama’s fame spread throughout the land of Bhutan. Men and women, monks and laymen, recognized Lama’s power and revered him. By virtue of this faith and devotion, they became ready vessels for the Buddha’s Teaching.
Excerpt from the Devine Madman by Keith Dowman